While I had little interest before for many reason, now I sort of want to go up there some day. The way that lady described the scene, how it’s more black than blue because there’s less atmosphere to reflect the sunlight, and the vast number of stars one could see up there, plus the hearing of pure silence, just makes that sound incredibly delightful.
The art of checking something off
As the duo were working through their list (specifically in the racetrack scene), I realize that my dissatisfaction from checking things off a list of stuff that I truly do want to do comes from HOW I go about doing it. Instead of going through the motions of planning a day to do a bucket list item and check it off, I actually want that item to be as normal, regular part of my life as it can. So instead of going bungee jumping once and calling it complete, I want to do it every so often; I want it to be a lifestyle. That’s the feeling that sold me to add it to the list in the first place.
My first trip to New York last May/June was fine. It was touristy for the most part since it was my first time, but I had a few “local” moments by staying at someone’s home, buying groceries for the week, and taking public transportation everywhere (sometimes the same buses and trains every day). But when I unexpectedly went back again in the winter, I started seeing a pattern (as much as you can see a pattern from only two instances), that I enjoy visiting once in a while, that I knew it would not be my last time coming to New York, that every time I visit, I would feel more and more like a local, and that it’s just something I do.
Whenever I do something from my list, I get a strange, somewhat uncomfortable feeling that it seems forced and that there is so much pressure to recapture the feeling I had imagined when I added it to the list. And looking at my list now, I realize that it’s because those items are things that I would do probably just once in my life. This Big Trip even includes a couple of those things. I still want to do them in my lifetime; I’m just saying that I should realign my expectations. Learning from a previous post, I should treat those one-time-ish items as a way to seek new experiences.
I do have to point out that some items, even if you make it into a lifestyle, could have diminishing returns if you do it after so many times. That probably means you’ve milked all the expected experiences you could from that item and you should move on to something new.
(195 days until supposed start of trip)
(currently on Lesson 16 of French, just semi-casually listening through to refresh my memory. Spanish is going to be the start of it being tough)
(Work’s been so busy this week that I have yet to complete the simple paperwork to officially get my leave of absence for my trip, but I did finally get the right wording in the reasons for my request. And also my boss’ boss seems supportive of my plan)